‘I Just Didn’t Want to Be Alive Anymore’: Meghan Says Life as Royal Made Her Suicidal

It was her sister-in-law, Kate, she said, who drove her to tears in a clash over dresses for the flower girls, rather than the reverse, as had been widely reported. One of Meghan’s aides told her she shouldn’t go out to lunch with friends because she was overexposed, even though she had left her residence only twice in four months.

Harry and Meghan also disclosed that their second child, due this summer, will be a girl.

Meghan, her baby bump clearly visible, spoke casually and with humor about her early encounters with her future in-laws. She described learning how to curtsy moments before she was introduced to Queen Elizabeth II and insisted she knew nothing about what was going to be expected of her as a working royal.

“I didn’t do any research about what that would mean,” she said. “I never looked up my husband online.”

Harry, who joined Meghan for the second half of the interview, said the couple left because of a lack of support or understanding from his family, particularly about the racism that he said his wife confronted in news coverage.

“No one from my family said anything over those three years,” Harry said.

The prince, who remains sixth in line to the throne, described being financially cut off by his family after he and Meghan announced plans to withdraw from royal duties. He said his relationship with his father, Prince Charles, was particularly strained because “there’s a lot of hurt that has happened.”

On both sides of the Atlantic, this was the most eagerly anticipated royal interview since Harry’s mother, Princess Diana, told the BBC in 1995 that “there were three of us in this marriage,” referring to her husband, Charles, and his extramarital relationship with Camilla Parker Bowles, whom he later married.

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