He backed up his hard drive — and his penis.
The phallic fiasco reportedly began after an unnamed 15-year-old boy was “triggered by sexual curiosity” and inserted a USB wire into his urethra, per a wince-worthy study published in the medical journal Urology Case Reports.
The sexperiment backfired when the cable became lodged in the curious teen’s scrotum like an electronic catheter. Despite attempts to extract it himself, the USB cord became tangled so terribly that both ends were left hanging out of his wired willy.
The plugged-up boy’s family transported him to the hospital after he began urinating blood. After initial attempts to remove the wire failed, the teen was transferred to University College Hospital London to see if they could extricate the intra-penile measuring tape.
Per the report, the embarrassed boy asked to speak to doctors without his mother present, whereupon he “confessed” to his frightening escapade.
Subsequent X-rays revealed that there was a veritable Gordian Knot of USB wire inside the teenager, which required surgeons to make an incision in the region between his genitals and anus to yank it out. They pulled the spooled end through the hole first, cutting it free from the rest of the wire before removing the remaining bits — literally pulling the plug.
Thankfully, the boy recovered without incident and was discharged from the hospital the following day. However, he did have to undergo a follow-up scan two weeks later and will require monitoring in the future.
He should thank his lucky stars. Inserting foreign objects in one’s private parts can lead to a host of complications, from urinary tract infections to urethral injuries, London andrologist Amr Raheem told the Daily Mail.
It’s unclear why someone would engage in this type of invasive member-measuring method, but experts say it often stems from “sexual curiosity, sexual practice after intoxication, and mental disorders such as borderline, schizoaffective and bipolar personality disorders,” per the study, which noted that “the patient was an otherwise fit and healthy adolescent with no history of mental health disorders.”
Experts have also blamed “sounding,” a strange proclivity defined by inserting foreign bodies in one’s urethra. Last month, a randy Michigan man was left struggling to pee after he got six kidney beans lodged in his urethra during a bizarre attempt at sexual gratification.
Unfortunately, Raheem said phallus-filling maneuvers are “becoming more common as everything is thanks to social media and in general the easier ways that misinformation can be spread.”
This story first appeared in the New York Post