When Did You Know It Was Love?

I’m a sucker for a great story, especially when it involves how people came together. So, I asked some of my dearest friends (including one extra special couple) how they fell in love, and here’s what they said…

Terrence (left) and Josh (right)
Together five years
Queens, New York

Josh: “We were both working at Disney World. I was performing in a parade, and I remember seeing Terrence in the crowd and thinking, ‘Man, that guy is dressed well.’ Then I met him later at a friend’s dinner party, and I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, it’s the guy from the parade!’ I thought he was way too cool for me because he was dressed in all vintage, and I was wearing like Nike shorts and a tank top. Terrence was always a very safe space for me. My last relationship had been horrible, but with Terrence I never had to put up a front. We went on a road trip to Tennessee, and it ended up taking 13 hours. We were driving away from a hurricane so the traffic was terrible. Sitting in that car with him all day and watching how he reacted to inconveniences, I had a quiet realization: I loved him.”

Terrence: “Josh was my first serious relationship, so I was learning how to coexist with another person. The moment I knew it was love was when we once visited New Orleans. I was sick, and he was really sweet and made sure I was looked after and still having fun. He took us to places that served soups, as well as a place to get bath supplies so we could take baths in the hotel room.”

Karen (left) and Danna (right)
Together three years
Portland, Oregon

Karen: “We were in my apartment, getting ready for Danna’s holiday work party… she’s smiling right now because she knows the story I’m about to tell.”
Danna: “Yep!”
Karen: “Danna, like a very bad queer, did not know how to tie a tie.”
Danna: “I came out late! It’s not my fault!”
Karen: “So, I’m sitting there, tying her tie — expertly, I might add — and it was just a very close, intimate moment. I thought, ‘Gosh, what if I were tying her tie for our wedding?’ I got butterflies, and it felt like it could be something bigger.”

Danna: “There are two moments for me. Before I could tell her that I loved her, because it was still early, I would just hold her face or put my hands on her cheeks. In my head, I was saying ‘I love you.’ Eventually I told her something goofy like, ‘By the way, when I do this it means I’m feeling big feelings for you,’ still talking around it. Then that Christmas I brought her home to meet my family. It was the first time I’d brought a partner home, so it was a big deal. We were at my brother’s house, and I said, ‘My feet are cold.’ And without saying anything, Karen left and brought back socks and put them on my feet. That was a ‘fluttery’ time for me.”

Patricia and Charles (my parents!)
Married 45 years
Owasso, Oklahoma

Patricia: “One of my best friends was taking a trip to Oklahoma, and before she left, I jokingly said, ‘Find me a husband!’ While she was there, she met him, took his photo and mailed it to me. When I got the photo, I jumped out of bed because he was so handsome! After a few weeks, we started writing letters to each other. He wrote the most beautiful letters — I still have all of them up in the attic. We even got professional photos taken to send to each other, and we flew to visit and meet each other’s families. I think it was more just that we loved being around each other and loved each other enough to keep in touch, long-distance, for so long.”

Charles: “I met her friend in Oklahoma and she told me she had someone for me to meet. I asked, ‘What does she look like?’ They showed me her picture and I thought, ‘This is a face I could fall in love with.’ Once she came down to visit me and we went to eat at one of my favorite restaurants. The next week I went back to the restaurant by myself and stared at the empty chair across the table from me. I knew I loved her, because I couldn’t imagine going there without her.”

Mimi and Peter
Married 11 years
Beacon, New York

Mimi: “We’ve known each other since we were 13 or 14. Falling in love with him is something that’s still happening, all the time. Like, when there’s a stressful situation I’m calm because I’m with a person who feels like home. It keeps expanding, and looks like more confidence in myself because he loves me and I think he’s wonderful. I thought I was in love when we were 19 and 20, and now I’m 33 and it’s way more than I could’ve thought.”

Peter: “Mimi’s guy friends were funnier and more athletic than I was, so I didn’t think I had a chance with her. We would chat on AIM, which was my way of keeping myself in the game. Mimi would burn CDs for me and make custom playlists. I thought, ‘Ok, she didn’t just buy this off a shelf, she put some thought into it.’ Later in college, our relationship started to go beyond friendship. I opened up to her about real life stuff. I had never talked to anyone like that before. Our relationship had a lot of depth. I always loved Mimi, and that relationship where you can really talk with someone and share a life with them is like no other relationship.”

Thank you to all the couples who shared their stories with us. When did you know it was love?

P.S. A date moment I still think about and how do you know your partner is the one?